Envying the Determined
When I see people who are steady and know exactly what they’re doing, I sometimes envy them. They move forward with persistence and determination, fully embracing their path, without letting other things distract them.
It’s as if what they’re doing is the absolute right thing—the only path worth following.
But when I notice their lack of interest or ignorance in other matters, that envy quickly turns into pity. How can they be so uninterested? How can they remain so superficial? How is it that, while being so successful and capable in their own field, they are so unwilling to question the truth of what they’ve learned in other areas?
The Saucer and the Glass
One of my relatives once told me:
“If you pour tea into a saucer, it spreads. The teaspoon is useless. But if you pour it into a glass, it deepens and the spoon fulfills its purpose.”
Since I don’t use sugar or spoons, I did the exact opposite. For me, what mattered was seeing more, being more aware. Because depth isn’t only about the vessel—it’s about the effort you put in.
When you go deep in the subjects you care about, you already end up with above-average depth in many others too.
The Gifted Ones
And then there’s another type of person. Probably the gifted ones.
They are the best in their own field, yet they also have deep knowledge in other areas. I admire these people even more. Where do they find the time? How do they keep all that knowledge in their heads?
Lately I’ve realized this: those people know how to learn well. They have clear maps in their minds, and they’ve tied their associations tightly together. Still, if you let them speak on every topic, sometimes they just talk nonsense. You see plenty of examples of this on TV.
What’s their deal? To be deep in their own field, and in one or two other areas they’re passionate about. That’s it.
This is usually my advice to high school students: while you still have time, get involved in music, sports, or art. Become professional in at least one of them. Reach the level where you can teach it.
If you’re going to study engineering, pick one tool or application and get good at it. And learn a language.
When you graduate, being multilingual, being able to do one of your hobbies at a professional level, and being confident in at least one engineering tool not only eliminates job anxiety but also allows you to adapt socially anywhere in the world.
My Own Path
I, on the other hand, did all of this halfway.
Career-wise, my approach didn’t yield the best results—though it had some advantages. My way was to try to understand everything. But when you try to understand everything, it’s easy to lose focus. And without practice, you don’t reach the level where you can actually do it.
I worked in different industries, sometimes just to have a job. Every time I started, I made plans: From here, I can do this. In a way, I embraced those jobs too, but after a while, I wanted to escape. My desire to learn outweighed everything.
Working in industry was always tough for me, because once I had learned, the enjoyable part was over. That’s why I did a master’s degree, but it didn’t really specialize me. It opened the door to an entirely different ocean.
When graduation approached, I sat down and listed all the courses and subjects I had taken. What could I enjoy doing? I couldn’t find an answer. Then I listed everything I hadn’t enjoyed—and that’s when I discovered a good topic for myself.
By crossing off all the “nevers,” what remained actually matched what I could want. The thesis phase became one of the most enjoyable periods of my life. My only mistake: I didn’t push it further.
When I finished, I couldn’t stay in that field. And when job-hunting, I didn’t—or couldn’t—say: I must work in this field. Visa and residence pressures weighed too heavily. Unlike others, I didn’t say: I’ll starve if I have to, but I’ll wait for this. So my career ended up in a completely different place.
Germany and the Mold
Research and development always stayed with me. I came to this country to become a scientist, but ended up back where I was trying to escape.
A big thing about Germany is that it puts people into molds and keeps them there. Changing, starting over—it’s hard. Legally there may be ways, but mentally it’s difficult.
So whenever I made changes, I thought: This time it worked. Yet I always found myself back at the same point. For example, I was hired as an Electronics Designer, but ended up doing only management tasks.
The only reason I had accepted that job was because it was supposed to be design work. It was going to be experience, and then I’d move forward.
Work, Life, and Meaning
At the end of the day, I’ve always had just one wish: to do what I love and am curious about.
For Europeans, work is just work. Especially for Germans. They have tons of other things going on in their lives, and those matter far more. For me too, in a way. Otherwise, I’d be trying to become like the people I envied in the beginning.
But what matters more to me is learning and growing. Maybe this is also the mindset that comes from where I grew up.
Sometimes I wonder if my whole life has been a waste of time—but no, it hasn’t. I spent my twenties well. Those were years when I had a lot of fun and learned so much. Even though I always hated the city I lived in, it gave me a lot.
The only thing I didn’t do well was use my time wisely. Or maybe it was just time spent in confusion. Still, it wasn’t bad.
Jack of All Trades?
Work-wise, I tried many things. I jumped from branch to branch. Some people are surprised when they see this, but now, for example, I’ve found a technical job I hadn’t done before.
I don’t think jumping from branch to branch is as bad as the spoon story. Instead of using the spoon, I chose to use a small piece of wood as my spoon.
Maybe I do belittle specialization a bit. But after five years in project management, I realized something: most of the people I once admired are actually unaware of the world.
Not just about things outside their field, but even about possibilities within their own field. It’s a kind of expert blindness.
Seeing that, I’ve come to value the advantage of being able to think broadly, of seeing many different applications, of looking at things through a wide lens.
The only disadvantage is hitting the experience wall when I want to switch to something technical while job hunting.
But lately I’ve also realized: the need for versatility is growing. And that’s a huge advantage for distracted people like me.
As systems get more complex, and as small parts are handled by AIs and robots, systemic thinking is becoming increasingly important.
Not Workaholism—A Search for Meaning
Sometimes, I also think like Europeans. I already have an average social status. I don’t have serious financial problems. I don’t like spending or constantly owning things. Naturally, I don’t need much money.
I don’t chase high salaries. So then, why do I focus so much on work instead of just living my life?
It’s not workaholism. I don’t have the ego of I created the world. I don’t want that. I love life as it is. I don’t think everything is for work.
I guess the reason is more about the search for meaning. Because I can’t find meaning in nature, in people, or in daily routines. If I made no effort at all, I would still end up in those routines.
And that very thought bothers me. I constantly want to do things and go beyond who I already am.
Another issue is rebellion against the system. I felt this more strongly after coming to Germany.
In Istanbul, the system distracted people. Life was a constant race: metro, buses, traffic, work, appointments, bars, restaurants, concerts—everything demanded you to run.
Here, you don’t need to run. And that absence comes back as inner reckoning. Less distraction, more dissatisfaction.
Some say: Your life is great, what are you complaining about? But reality isn’t like that.
The System’s Demands
The system demands two things from us:
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To spend.
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To earn, in order to spend.
Earning, of course, within the opportunities the system allows. We study for years to decide what to do. And what we end up doing is only to become a useful part of society.
Some people break out of this cycle, but then they are excluded. The lucky ones are only excluded in terms of character or lifestyle; the unlucky are also excluded economically.
Isn’t it interesting that all our dreams are built upon this?
Yes, I love electronics. But the need to make it a profession is the result of this manipulation.
If I had said I love music, I’ll be a musician, the reactions and societal barriers would have been far greater.
When I said I’d be an engineer, there was no resistance. On the contrary: Good, good, it’s a safe job, people said.
This mindset amazes me. What’s even more striking is that societies across the board share it.
More developed countries went through the same things 40–100 years ago.
Freedom in Learning
Thinking about all this makes a person want a free space. A space where they are not just a cog in the machine, but can be themselves.
For me, that has been the freedom to jump from one branch to another, and the confidence that I can do whatever I want.
The idea in my head that science is everything, the rest is empty is tied to the freedom within science. Even though I know science itself is squeezed into molds too.
Not chasing money, not trying to buy new things, wearing my clothes and shoes until they wear out—these aren’t so much about environmental awareness as they are about rejecting the idea that you must spend, therefore you must earn more.
Reading different things, learning, trying, failing—that’s why it’s so important to me. Because even if not physically or socially, it liberates me mentally.
Next week I’m starting a new job. A completely new field. And even before starting, I’ve already been making plans for where I might jump to using what I’ll learn here.
If I had a bit more courage, I’d love to travel through the villages of Turkey, across Asia, the Middle East, Africa, South America.
But there are still so many things I can’t escape in the system…
Maybe one day.
bahadirhancicek 
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