Hello friends! Although this is a topic that wears me out, I feel compelled to write as I near the end of this series: spirituality, religion, belief, and values.
As I think about these questions, my life, and my readings, one thing that often comes to mind is a memory from our old religious culture and ethics class: ethics was always presented as part of religion, and religion itself was a subject based on accepted foundations — mostly about the life of the Prophet or a brief historical summary.
In reality, it was more of an Islam and history class.
Wouldn’t it have been better if it had been an ethics class — one that introduced Islam alongside other religions and at least posed the question “Why Islam?”
But it wasn’t.
As a curious child, I was often told: “Not everything should be questioned.”
Yet, I didn’t turn out immoral — because I didn’t build my values on acceptance or fear.
Today’s questions revolve around values:
- Do you have negative thoughts about the values you’ve held since your youth?
- Do you struggle to let go of them?
- Have you found shared values with people of different beliefs (not only religious ones)?
- Have you ever wondered how that happens?
Where do you position your existence in this infinite universe?
When you encounter new cultures, how much do you carry your own values? How much attention do you pay to theirs?
What does that tell you about your own values and beliefs?
In my opinion, these questions are quite clear.
Because I believe people must take responsibility for themselves, I also think value judgments shape themselves — and have nothing inherently to do with belief.
Having grown up in a conservative and nationalist city, I too was influenced by lives shaped around faith, by mindsets that emphasized authority, and by ideological obsessions rooted in thinking that everything came from God or the state.
I first realized these were rigid obsessions when I moved to Istanbul, observed that life wasn’t as we had seen it back home, and met entirely new people and environments.
At that moment, a question came to mind:
What defines us — the sacred things we accept and shape our lives around, or simply being good people?
And if it’s about being good, what does “good” even mean?
I’ve never really found an answer to that second question — but I think fairness and sensitivity to the environment and to other people is enough.
What struck me as well was how easily the values we adopt and use to restrict our lives can bend and change.
In other words, our so-called “values” often weren’t really values at all — they were tools of self-deception.
When even nationalism today differs from what nationalism was just two years ago, treating it as an unshakable “red line” seems absurd to me.
The same applies to belief.
Today, if someone reads the Qur’an and converts to Islam, they might end up thinking that Turks aren’t really Muslim — and they may not be wrong.
After all, the introduction of Islam here was driven by political reasons and adapted to suit local needs, followed by forced sectarian conversions over time.
Similarly, religious perception varies drastically from person to person.
Taking such a fluid and subjective domain as a foundational reference is meaningless.
Religious teachings always emphasize the beauties and punishments, while the absurdities and irrationalities — child marriages, punishments, torture, slavery, patriarchal rights — are typically glossed over quickly, often justified as “conditions of that time.”
In such an environment, can we really talk about values and truths?
I don’t think so.
But this doesn’t mean religions are bad.
Religions have always served as refuges in the aftermath of unexplained events — and for some, they fulfill a deep emotional need for belief.
They have also been sources of inspiration in many fields, from architecture and literature to art.
As long as humanity continues its emotional quest, people will continue to invent and adopt religions in one form or another.
Returning to values:
Shared values are the foundation of civilization.
They are what hold two people, societies, and groups together.
Even though some values are subjective and vary from person to person, core human values are essentially the same — and precisely these shared values allow people with different beliefs and realities to coexist.
In my opinion, this is exactly what we need to focus on to resolve all conflicts and disagreements:
- What are your values?
- How can I find shared values with you?
Finding them will make your life easier.
Questions about how you position yourself in the universe, and about existence and the meaning of life, will be for next time.
bahadirhancicek 
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