Why This Obsession with Growth?
One thing I’ve noticed in so-called “developed” countries is how event-centered their lifestyles are.
Planning everything. Constant activities. Even when friends meet up, they try to turn it into a game.
I think there are two reasons for this:
- Socializing is easier that way.
- It helps them release stress and clear their minds.
Maybe one reason why these “sporty Europeans” are so addicted to working out is because they don’t really share much emotionally. Just a guess—completely unscientific.
But it got me thinking:
Why do we constantly feel the need to improve ourselves?
Why do we push so hard, while others seem more relaxed, even hedonistic?
Is this drive for growth a byproduct of struggling lower on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?
Running Without Knowing Why
Why do people in big cities live at such a fast pace?
Are they chasing something—or simply afraid their basic needs won’t be met?
Maybe it’s all part of consumer culture.
The need to constantly be “better,” the urge to consume information and status, not just things.
Maybe this obsession with “potential” is about finally becoming the person we felt we couldn’t be as children.
It reminds me of Sisyphus’ punishment—endlessly pushing that boulder up the mountain.
Maybe we’re doing the same with our lives. Trying to perfect something that can’t ever really be perfect.
As I ponder all this, a German jogs past me—pushing himself like he’s late for something.
I ask, “Why?”
He says, “To blow off steam. To clear my head.”
And I realize—they have struggles too.
Even when racing only themselves, they don’t want to stay the same.
Can We Grow Alone?
I’ve talked about this before in my dreams vs. reality series.
Big cities offer opportunity—but with that also comes a relentless race.
It’s hard to fight alone when your surroundings aren’t pushing you.
And when the people around you aren’t on the same path, it becomes tempting to let go of them to stay focused.
But what if the real challenge is this:
How can we bring our social environment into our growth process?
Because let’s be honest—constant self-improvement affects everything:
your friendships, your energy, your emotions.
Watching yourself evolve while others stay the same can be frustrating.
Eventually, you start pulling away.
Does Growth Make You Happier?
Looking back, do you ever feel like the “good kid” who became a stranger overnight?
Do you wish things could have been different? Or have you learned how to balance growth with connection?
Do the people who naturally faded away from your life hurt you—
or have you reached a point where you accept it as a necessary part of reaching your goals?
Growing Together
There’s another way to look at this: growth through community.
Instead of growing alone, try bringing others into your process:
- Doing sports? Invite someone who also trains.
- Love reading? Discuss books with someone curious.
- Working on empathy, compassion, or emotional intelligence? Share those feelings.
Talk about what brings you joy. Share the good moments.
When you do, others feel good too. This might be the more sustainable path.
So… Why the Growth Mindset?
(Yes, I like translating “mindset” into Turkish as “kafası”—it just fits.)
Why is this mindset so important?
What are we really chasing?
What happens if we don’t grow?
How will we know when we’ve grown enough?
And will we ever really get to stop, sit by the sea in a summer house, and just… do nothing?
Growth Is a Burden (But Ignorance Isn’t Bliss Either)
In my opinion, growth brings more burden than peace.
They say “ignorance is bliss”—and I believe it.
Once you start thinking, there’s no going back.
Sure, I’ve met many people who call themselves open-minded.
But often they’re only open to what they want to see.
Curiosity and reflection are, to me, essential parts of being alive.
They give meaning to our existence.
In a universe that is constantly changing, pretending to stay still is both foolish and a waste of life.
Can We Ever Reach Our Full Potential?
Will those “smart but lazy” kids ever grow up and become “great” people?
In a world where fools run nations and the cunning get rich, the definition of ‘greatness’ is broken.
I don’t even believe in a singular “full potential.”
It’s a mix of luck and focus.
The more focused and consistent you are, the further you go.
Vision comes from knowledge. Success comes from effort.
And self-awareness makes both a lot easier.
But Can You Really Know Yourself?
Honestly?
Probably not.
Our entire existence is built around convincing ourselves we can “self-actualize” and reach “nirvana.”
But life is just a series of problems, obstacles, and solutions.
Without problems, there is no life.
Without goals, life has no direction.
Final Question of the Day:
How can we increase the value we place on ourselves—and use that as fuel to fight through our toughest challenges?
I asked ChatGPT the same question. Here’s the (surprisingly good) response:
- Love yourself
- Listen to your inner voice
- Replace negative self-talk with positive thoughts
- Be realistic about what you can achieve
- Celebrate your wins
- Treat yourself from time to time
- Surround yourself with supportive people
- Develop healthy habits (exercise, good nutrition, hobbies that fulfill you)
- Learn from your mistakes
- Try new things and aim to get better at them—it boosts confidence
- Be aware of others, help people, give back
And if none of that works:
Get professional help. Don’t suffer unnecessarily. Don’t poison your life.
In short: accept life—both its ups and downs—and live it fully.
Even if you decide to rebel a little, drink a bit, go wild sometimes—do it in moderation.
Time is like money—spend it wisely.
bahadirhancicek 
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