Last week I have started podcasting. This is a journal for me and a big challenge in terms of communication, publicity and language skills. It can be seen as a facing and fighting with my insecurities. Thanks to friend that courage me a lot and I said why not. Let’s try. I am done with consuming and better to become productive. Perhaps it is just 30 years old crisis.
Back to the idea of this podcast, I am a person who spends all life for further step. It has been started from childhood. We were competing hard to be better… We are looking for always better grades, better school, better skills, better future… This gave us a big chance to improve ourselves and open new horizons. It has been introducing me new people, new environments, new knowledge and some wisdom. In time this turned to be a habit and we have become a person who is looking for a challenge all the time. This is the main reason of being unmotivated because whatever we do, we want more and more. We cannot see what we have achieved but see what we couldn’t. Perhaps, we are dreaming a lot, making many plans, much more than we can manage at a time and in the end we can achieve half. This habit drives me crazy usually, because I don’t know what free time is.
We don’t see this as a success. Because in the end, we think that it is done and all these difficulties turns into ‘so what… it is easy, can be done’. So, we see other half. The things we haven’t done yet and this is the main reason of ultimate unhappiness.
I will tell all maybe later but know I would like to tell about expectations, reality, happiness, pleasure, depression, competition, self-deprecation… and what I have learnt from podcasting at the first week.
My journey has begun in the same way with ceasing more and still going on. I am an engineer who makes plans, studies for dreams and always end up with something unexpected… I start to accept this in a way but also still trying hard to chase my dreams. This is very exhausting and disappointing process which demotivates me all the time. Sometimes, I am judging myself hard and have an intensive self-deprecation. This is maybe cool or funny in a way but also demotivating.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be yourself!
This is important. You should know your limits and focus on gain. This is where I fail usually. I want to achieve many things but time is limited. When I cannot order my priorities, it leads me stress.
There are two kinds of people. The first one is traditional who obeys and follows all clichés and socially accepted path. Never try to go out of it, never try to discover it and just living in flow which leads you dead cycle. Born, grow up, study, find job, have a family, deal with daily issues and die. To manage that, you don’t need to anything. Just live and go with flow.
This kind of person can be also religious and believe that this life he has to be good person, do everything correct and always appreciate what he have. Yes, this is a way to be happy, because everything is pre-determined. You take almost zero responsibility and initiation.
Second type of person is not like that. Either completely rebellious or the one who have inputs, observes around a lot, reading a lot, getting new information a low. This is the one who tries to improve herself and always wants to go further. This person is unhappy, suffers depression and uncomforted all the time. It doesn’t matter if he/she leaves comfort zone or not.
I am in the second group. I left my country, my friends, family and went for new path. Even I didn’t follow usual path in my profession and couldn’t manage to go for usual way in this unusual path. I always thought what the problem is, read motivational books, watched videos, tried to find a way but none of these motivational coaches tells about their past. They all say, they were bad, unmotivated and that’s all. Suddenly, they have managed to be successful and focused person. Therefore, I have decided to have this concept to share my journey from beginning as podcast. Here there won’t be big advices and success stories but there will be mistakes, some tips, what I try to do but cannot do.
I was unemployed over 6 months in this year. Many times I doubted myself, lost confidence and became hopeless. I saw that sharing is important. Anna had the same situation and we talked and shared a lot. At the most hopeless times, our talks gave us power and pleasure and it seems that she got motivated much more than me .. So, she made me aware that my words can have some impact. Now situations are better, many things got fixed and I have decided to be more proactive. I began to work on communication skills, giving speech, clear self-expression and fix my language competency. That’s why podcast was good idea.. Finally, that moment came. Do it now or never. Whatever I do will improve me.
The first week of podcasting
First of all, I should say that it is fun. To design a structure, finding a content, recording it properly, editing all steps are pretty fun. Most of all, being productive make me feel good. However it takes long time. Sometimes this becomes annoying.
Secondly, hearing and getting used to my own voice is interesting. I know it is pretty normal to hate your own voice and if you are not gifted, obviously you will have many things you don’t like. In time, you get used to that. It sounds more natural. Exactly this moment, I felt amazing because I could hear my mistakes, the way I talk and getting more ideas how it can be improved which is my main purpose for this podcast series.
Other things I have noticed except self-judgment, microphone is very important and it saves you from a lot of work.
Marketing needs a good strategy. Nobody just come and find you, besides you don’t have much chance after the first impression.
In the end, I have more respect to youtubers, podcast hosts and all. Their job is definitely deserves respect.
Anyway, i am pretty new in this world and it will be good reference for me and for listeners to see improvement from scratch. If you can tolerate all this mistakes and amateur attempts. You are welcome!
RSS Link: https://anchor.fm/s/134524c4/podcast/rss
Anchor: https://anchor.fm/unmotivated-motivation
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7BCeEhs4SWIhZQy1EXwhk0
Breaker: https://www.breaker.audio/dark-motivation
Google: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy8xMzQ1MjRjNC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Overcast: https://overcast.fm/itunes1497361334/dark-motivation
Pocket Casts: https://pca.st/dh9wx3y1
Radio Public: https://radiopublic.com/dark-motivation-Ww4MyA
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ieo5sgiE3_I&list=PLIkRHq6mgioBkf1Ul75YIwTlMi8kxMScZ
Originally published at https://bahadirhancicek.medium.com on February 10, 2020.
bahadirhancicek 
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