Are you 30 years old? maybe even 32 or 34 years and feeling stuck on your career and life choices? Are you feeling a big failure? Are you having trouble finding job because you don’t have enough experience?
Then you are not alone. This is how I feel right now and I have already overcome panicking phase and started to find a way to leave this black hole.
How did it happen?
5 years of engineering degree, 3 years of master study in Nano Systems; I am where I am. Everybody is surprised with my situation because this is the area that many job offers. However, it is actually not true.
When I think about where I did wrong and what was missing, I have realized that I just followed tasks one after one and prioritized my goals.
“I will finish this and then do that”
This was the first mistake because life is not going with checkpoints. Sometimes, you need to give more.
Second mistake was chasing knowledge. I tried my best to learn as much as I can. I did projects, learned new skills, worked in different fields. I don’t regret. It gave me good perspective and conceptual understanding. I thought it was a good idea because it is multidisciplinary world but I was wrong. Conceptual thinking wasn’t enough for specific problems.
All these thoughts took me different country, brought me good management experience, new language, new people but in the end I am where I am.
What was I missing?
Concrete GOALS!
I couldn’t decide on specific topic that I can be passionate about. My way was always to eliminate what I don’t like but never knew what i like. This was the biggest mistake. Therefore, to know yourself is important and of course decision making accordingly.
Another problem was mentoring. I couldn’t value networking enough and I have never had a mentor who can show me a way before I try and fail. I saw that it is very important, especially during studies because we usually don’t know our opportunities and solid outputs of what we learn in classes.
So, I mostly recommend guys who starts their university 3 things.
- Choose a technical skill that you will master just in order to have a guarantee of opportunity later.
- Choose a hobby that you can master and teach later in order to have income alternative later
- Choose a goal for long term to know what you are doing
Of course, your desires will change later but this 3 advises are just to make transition period easy when you have another ideas or paths to go.
What can we do now?
You failed, are stuck or lost in your life and you don’t know what to do. What is the idea now?
I saw people who started or changed their career quite late around 35, 40 years old. Although feeling of failure demotivates you, you should know that there is always chance to start over.
Here is where to start:
- Know your limits, capability and stay POSITIVE
Just think of what you did and try to find the positive points you got and you can advertise about yourself. In the end you will find your passion
2. Eliminate distractions and stop comparing yourself with others
Everybody has own time and own path to go. Therefore, stop measuring your success with other’s or society’s indicators. It is such a cliche but you know how many times famous people failed. Failure doesn’t make you hopeless but it makes you strong because you know what it means. You don’t want to stay stable and in your comfort zone. You jump from one place to one place and end up with current status. See the positive. You will never have ‘what if’ feeling because you already try. So it is time to focus.
Eliminate negative people around you, eliminate negative feelings, negative memories, negative thoughts. Get rid of things take your time for nothing and use your time productive.
3. Don’t Overthink
Overthinking is also one big problem. You will of course analyze yourself and your life but don’t exaggerate it. Try to act more.
4. Share, Consult and Network
You should know that you are not alone. Important is you are willing to step forward. It is important to be honest with yourself and share your ideas with others. Talk with your friends, try to find professional who can give you advice for your goals and how to achieve it. You will see everything will be easier. You never know where chances are coming from
Let people inspire and motivate you!
5. Be brave to leave comfort zone and accept situation
You should accept your situation in stead of complaining as well as you should accept what will come. Chances can be everywhere if you go for them.
6. Inform yourself and make a personal statement
Follow podcasts, webinars, online courses or similar medias to keep improving your knowledge. Nothing is for nothing. All effort are useful. If you can do, try to teach what you learn because it is the best way to be confident with your knowledge.
Try to have a personal statement. When I tried this first, it was surprising because even I didn’t have proper goal, I saw that I am not completely out of track. There was at least a pattern that I follow. This also helped me to see what I like and what I am more passionate about. Therefore, having a strategy is important to not losing control of your life.
7) Be confident
There is nothing against you! So, be confident. Confidence makes doors open for you. If you are confident enough, people that you will contact will be convinced easier.
If you are having troubles on self confidence, consume media that motivates you. Motivational speeches, medium posts, podcasts, photos, movies, books, life stories… Anything makes you feel good. Take care of yourself, your look. Do exercise and look at the mirror every morning and say ‘I can do anything I want in life. I am the best and I am the only drive to reach my goal! It is a new day that I will do my best!”
So, do your best for the day. Appreciate what you have and fight for what you want. In the end, you are the only drive!
bahadirhancicek 
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