Couchsurfing 101

It has been a long time since I couldn’t write anything. Finally, I am back. I’d like to write a bit about Couchsurfing.

I am a member of Couchsurfing for 11 years. Sometimes, I was active, a long time(due to my city) I wasn’t active and during my travels, I couldn’t be active as well due to my companions and different plans.

Right now, I am in a new city, and it is a quiteactive place Couchsurfing and I am back.

For 11 years, I have been hearing the same questions over and over again. What is Couchsurfing, why do you host people without asking for money, why and how do you stay at people’s houses that you don’t know, isn’t it dangerous, are you accepting only other gender, is there no risk of burglary, rape, assault, how can you trust… Therefore, I have decided to write this blog post.

What is Couchsurfing?

Couchsurfing is a volunteer and trust-based, hospitality service or social network. Well, what does hospitality mean?

That means that i.e you are going on holiday and you open this platform/app. You choose your destination and search the profiles for the possible host. Their profiles give you enough information and you request to be hosted. If they think that they can get along well with you or if they want to help you or if they want to hang out with you and accompany your trip then they accept your request. In the end, you stay at this person’s place for the agreed period of time and you don’t pay for it(but be kind and give some effort with your good intentions of you). Besides, there is also a hangouts function in the mobile app. You can contact fellow travelers and expand your group and share your experience. Why are you doing this? I will tell you soon but first:

What is Couchsurfing not?

It is not a free hotel or free accommodation. It is not a dating app. The people you are hosting are not slaves, maids, your ego material, or sexual object. Couchsurfing is not something that you expect a return.

Why Couchsurfing?

Many people travel without a local contact. They see the tourist places, find some good spots, and good restaurants, and watch the local people like an animal in a Zoo. Some of them are more courageous and try to explore more but are still isolated from locals and walk around without any knowledge or are completely unconscious. In the end, they enjoy it but make many generalizations about the place they visited. It is %98 a bullshirt.

Especially, if you are not a solo traveler, it is very likely to be a black box to outside and enjoy your own bubble without any local contact. This is not bad or good but it is sure that you miss many things. You can learn history from books but the real local experience is not what you can find by reading books or observing with alien eyes. I am sure, there are people who don’t agree with me but this is how it is. You mostly have no idea about the city you visit.

Couchsurfing gives you a great chance to learn many interesting things. You know more about local people and local spots, you experience actually how their world is. You can contact other travelers and have a chance to discover another world. Perhaps, you can have a chance to experience together something that you do not dare alone or with local advice, you get rid of all your questions. You become a traveler not only a tourist.

In addition to all, you have new friends from all over the world that normally you have no chance at all to know. For example, as an engineer, how can I meet an opera singer, artist, violin maker, dancer, or hippie who lives out of the system mostly? It is very unlikely. Thanks to Couchsurfing, I met many interesting people and make new friends. Now I have a place in different countries and very good friends.

Sometimes, a person from a similar background can inspire you. You see that this person had experienced the same thing and solved the problem already. It shows you what life can offer you ad how many new paths are available. At the same time, you see that life is not just around your bubble. All you experience, like, love, and hate are not just for you, they are not that unique. The best is, your hope about the world is shining after because you know that there are always good and reliable people all over the world. When you put trust as a common value, you can actually change the world and bring beauty. To experience this is something extraordinary.

When you host people, it is the same. Even if you cannot travel, you can get inspired by people’s perspectives and stories. You can see that traveling is not about money but perspective. Sometimes, a small story adds a new place to your bucket list.

You can buy buffets, beach clubs, luxury hotels, museums, historical goods, and tickets but you can never buy this experience anywhere. Therefore, Couchsurfing is amazing!

How can we trust?

I trust myself about feeling good people but of course, there are some absurd people on this platform too. There are people who have bad experiences or people who understand the platform wrong and expect different things. Perves, drug addicts, liars… Like everywhere they exist on Couchsurfing as well. That’s why the first experience is hard and getting harder because profiles are on a reference base.

Every profile has references from people they hosted or were hosted. References cannot be seen without writing from both sides and they cannot be edited. Besides, profiles are giving a lot of information. So, after all, it is your decision which profiles to choose.

This makes the work harder for newcomers but I usually look at their message how they represent themselves, and how they introduced themselves on their profile. Sometimes, profiles remain empty then I check the message and try to understand their perspective and sincerity. If I still have questions, then I just ask until I feel comfortable. Sometimes, you can see the terribly written message but from the profile, and photos you can understand that person is a nice person.

Hint for newcomers: fill out your profile, join cs events and ask people to write you a reference after meeting them, and give an effort for your requests.

Bad Experiences, Perversion, and Creepiness

Of course, there are people who have experience, sometimes even despite good references but this is a very rare case. It is usually not a bad experience as you think but rather a communication problem.

However, there are many unverified, no reference profiles. Choosing among them or accepting those people is your own risk.

Couchsurfing is an open-minded platform. Therefore, you can find every kind of person with different lifestyles and perspectives. Nudists, LGBT people, fantasy people, gf seekers, and drug addicts are mostly the ones who people don’t feel comfortable with. You don’t have to accept these people. They are mostly stating what they want, who they are, and who they are looking for. You can also see the groups to that they are subscribed. So, you have all the necessary information to have a good experience with people that you can feel good with.

Things to avoid

• Never write or accept a request without reading the profile
• never send a message without any self-introduction or background info. (never write ‘I am coming and can you host me for 2 nights?) I mostly reject when somebody writes like that. Couchsurfing is not a charity organization and my home is not a public hotel)
• Don’t see Couchsurfing as a help platform
• do not misuse or exploit people’s good intentions, be decent and sincere
• don’t expect anything from another person, especially emotionally, sexually, and financially. People can be kind that offer dinner or give a present but this doesn’t mean that they have to. This is a nice gesture and the opposite is not a bit unkind but still, it is a voluntary choice. Not a must. Even a bar of small chocolate, drink makes a big difference and good impression. It provides a better connection with other people.
• Couchsurfing is not a dating app. It is possible that you can get along well, feel close and go further. There are many people who start dating after cs experience or getting married however, this doesn’t mean that it ll/should/must happen. Another person’s relaxed and easy-going nature means nothing more than kindness and friendliness. Therefore, do not spoil people’s experience, trust, and good mood with your stupid expectations. Be a modern, civilized human being!
• if you have any other plan, consider other options but not Couchsurfing. If you still consider Couchsurfing for plenty of reasons such as budget, then be honest and inform the prospective host/surfer about it. Be open and honest.
• Do not hesitate to write negative references if your experience is negative. You don’t have to be nice always. There is always a place for another person to clarify the situation and defend themselves. So, write a negative reference when it is necessary. Sometimes, what you find negative is not negative for others.

Result

Couchsurfing gave me a lot. I met interesting people. I found much common ground with people that I was thinking we have no common interests. I met many people that I cannot normally meet or see at all. I learned a lot from other travelers and got a lot of information about places I haven’t been to, sometimes I even had no idea of the existence of the place. I listened to many interesting, inspiring life stories. I overcame many things that I had prejudices about before. I thought about many different topics that I wouldn’t think about normally. I discovered new music, movies, new worlds and most importantly, I learned to trust people.

Although it is an enrichment that there are different cultures, geographies, and lifestyles; I also see that all cultures and all people are similar. Not so different than each other.

and economically, I could spend more on what I want to experience.

I have hosted 14 people from 9 different countries; I stayed at 11 different people’s houses from 7 different countries so far. (yes, it is not much for 11 years but sometimes it doesn’t work and sometimes choices can be different). I also met many people from 15–16 different countries by using the hangouts function. Families, solo travelers, groups, activists, refugees, progressives, hippies, hipsters, open-minded, close-minded, shy, introverts, extroverts … Many different people. I shared my stories with them and listened to their stories. I learned about their world. Is there anything better than this?

Couchsurfing is not something that you can buy. Especially, if you are in a country where you cannot travel, you cannot dream and you cannot hope; if you think that you are alone in the world and your bad life is unique to you; if you think that traveling is only about money; if your bad experiences or failures are the end of the world then I recommend to experience Couchsurfing. It will change your perspective completely. It is the easiest way and simple step on the way to going beyond your dreams.

and other people that I recommend CouchSurfing for are the ones who think that they are important. The ones who have over self-love, the ones who like showing off, the ones who are completely materialist, the ones who are a consumer of cities, and countries, and the ones who have no ideas about the culture of the country they have been. You should also experience Couchsurfing to beat your ego and to see that your world is just a single grain of sand.