In the previous article, we tried to identify the important people in our lives and clarify their place in our lives. Today, we will think about the moments when we come to a disagreement with these people.
Have you ever had a fight with important people in your life? If so, when was the last time and how often do you fight?
Can you recognize when a fight is inevitable? What are the moments when this person is unhappy with you?
How often do you try to resolve the impasse between you, to make amends?
How do you feel when you fight? Do you believe that any problem can be solved with this person and why?
Like many emotions, fighting is a fact of life and an essential part of life. Sometimes it’s a clash of interests, sometimes it’s a communication problem, and sometimes we fight just to feel alive. A world without fights, where everything works perfectly, is not possible because, as we have already explained, each person matures in different environments and has different perspectives and different desires.
Naturally, quarrels are not caused by a lack of love, but by a lack of empathy, a difference in communication, or a change in desires. In order to realize ourselves and build healthy relationships, we need to be honest about this. Especially in some environments, where books are not read, and even if they are read, they are mostly information books instead of novels, fights, misunderstandings, and lack of empathy are quite natural.
The conclusion we want to draw from today’s questions is how much we wear ourselves and the other person out, and how much the discussion damages mutual respect and love.
This is usually a big problem between men and women because they are two different thinking species. Usually, the man thinks that there is a small reason for a fight, when in fact that small reason is the result of many previous reasons. When you don’t understand this, the fight can be very hurtful and destructive. The fact that you fight all the time, that you are always trying to get back at him, and that you think you are right in the fight is actually a sign that many things are going wrong. Unless you try to identify and solve the things that are going wrong, each fight leads to more frustration and slowly ends the relationship. Like a burning candle, nothing is left.
Thinking that the other person will stay with you no matter what can make you lazy about finding a solution. By the time the day comes and you realize how far you have drifted, it is too late.
So is it easier to bring back what is gone, to regain the feelings that have been destroyed, or to prevent them from being destroyed?
Of course, to prevent it from being destroyed. This is exactly what you need to think about today. Putting your ego aside and thinking about the problems. To find solutions, to listen, to understand, to make sense, and to find a compromise. Honestly, I have never seen a justifiable side in any fight. It could be a family fight, a partner fight, a friend fight, a political fight, or a street fight. Usually, the reason is always the same. Ignored problems, accumulated bad feelings, and prejudices due to lack of communication, and boom!
Long story short, have real communication with the people you really care about. Be honest with them, be constructive, and give them time. This will improve both your quality of life and your peace of mind.
bahadirhancicek 
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