How to know yourself-15: Suppressed Emotions

Have you ever suppressed some memories to feel good today?

Have you ever experienced that these suppressed emotions sneak into your mind from time to time?

Does anything you encounter today remind you of some bad memories?

Do you feel like the relationship you have today is a bad copy of some past relationship?

How often do you think of bad memories? Do they affect your present decisions and ideas?

Hello everyone! We continue to dig deep and try to understand ourselves better. The topic of the day is memories from the past that you don’t want to remember but cannot escape from.

I will start with an extreme case, PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Probably, you already know what it is. It is a stress disorder that occurs after some traumatic event. It doesn’t have to occur after all traumatic events but there is a possibility. It is seen that patients even can erase the traumatic event to not remember and experience this stress but it creates actually new stress in life such as nightmares, sleeping disorders, anxiety, irrational fear, and even disability.

Some patients experience it in a different way. They remember the memory very well and they live it again and again in their mind. It is also possible to freeze in a moment reminds that a traumatic event or avoid any similar situation. Sometimes, it causes also a burst of rage, anger problems, paranoia, panic attacks, reluctance, or desire for self-harm.

The best result after treatment is seen when the patient can confront the problem and accept it as it is. In this way, the patient has a relief that it doesn’t have to happen again and it is the source of the stress. During the treatment, it is also recommended to do regular exercises, spend time with positive people, be more connected with nature, and stay away from substances like alcohol/drugs which destroy the emotional and chemical balance of the brain.

Of course, this example is extreme and it needs professional help, however, the main idea is the same for us as well. Running away from our past, and suppressing emotions is not a solution. It is an escape. Everything you escape finds you soon or later. How later it is, that destroying and harming it will be. Therefore, on the way to knowing yourself and increasing the quality of your life, it is important to be sure that you have peace with your past.

If you don’t do something or avoid something, just because you had a bad experience before; if you stay in your comfort zone, just because you have bad memories; you should think, my friend. Why?

After asking why the next step is how you can overcome it. What was the setup/conditions at that time and how it is today? Where was the mistake or obstacle? Is there any reason to repeat it?

Don’t forget that everything has a reason and every problem has a solution.

Otherwise, you will run away all the time. In the end, you will understand it is nonsense to escape and you will realize how much time you wasted and how many chances you missed.

There were interesting examples in my life:

• a friend who sold his motorbike because he fell down.
• A friend, who was threatened by a person with a knife. He was asked for money on the street. Therefore, he had never been to the best part of the city. After years, he saw what he missed.
• another guy saw some documentary about Barcelona which was telling the crime scene there. Therefore, he decided to not go there. One of the most beautiful cities in the world is not an option for him.
• a sea lover neighbor. She learned to swim at the age of 45. The reason was she was afraid of it because of her drowning feeling when she was a kid. Now she tries to compensate for her time in the sea by staying long hours.
• a colleague who has an amazing talent and ideas but just because of his fear of public speaking he cannot express them.

I have many examples and I am sure you will also notice many people around you with similar self-brake. My suggestion is easy:

Do not miss life!