Do I have good self-esteem? Why do I think so? Am I open to testing it? Is there anyone that I can ask?
Does my inner voice stop me? Am I so critical of myself?
In which situations do I feel nervous and stressed? Which situations make me hesitant?
Photo by Callum Skelton on Unsplash
Yes, today we talk about self-esteem.
Even when you are thinking about the questions above, you will find yourself fighting against the inner voice. The best output of this conflict is being objective with ourselves.
Especially, introverted people often avoid facing themselves and they hide behind the lie that it is how they are. Extroverts are also avoiding it differently. They look outside for the solution to the inner fight. Therefore, even a small and unimportant conflict leads them to extreme sadness and disappointment.
The pandemic time showed us how people are bad at dealing with themselves. The isolation is reflected as hustle, depression, sadness, or sorrow. The main problem was that they didn’t know what to do with themselves. In other words, they didn’t know themselves.
An introverted person with high self-esteem is never afraid of being alone- The alone time is an opportunity for this person and the time to invest in him/herself. This person knows when to say no and can choose loneliness if necessary. Thus, this person can create a space for self for improvement.
An extrovert person with high confidence knows personal limits. This person doesn’t seek attention all the time or does not try to be everywhere to be seen. Instead, this person knows to be at the right place right time. Furthermore, he/she never avoids problems and never seeks a solution outside.
I think the first skill we have to have is being able to stay alone. After that, make peace with yourself. If your inner voice stops criticizing you and agrees with you then this means you achieved peace and this is the moment that your concerns are away already.
The problems or the benefits of confidence show up everywhere such as in daily life events, decisions, and dreams. A confident person steps forward strong and surely whereas a person with low self-esteem has doubts at every step. Low self-esteem affects our decision and makes it impossible to have a healthy decision and causes many negative results. Here, the problem is not the lack of talent or bad skill sets but the lack of confidence. That’s why it is crucial to be objective about yourself and fight against a lack of confidence.
We come to life alone and die alone. Although the first steps are aided by parents, the beyond is always our own will and effort. Everything happens in your life because of your own decisions and acts. You are the only responsible. Therefore, taking responsibility for our actions is the main component of improving self-esteem.
Social confidence is a bit different but it is also possible to improve and needs care. Here, you should identify what you can change, and what you should change. You should also know that the lack of confidence is something we learn over time. It is the result of our experiences, observations, and knowledge. So, it is complete nonsense to be insecure.
Our brain is quite well to cheat itself. It is the reason why having someone with that you can share your self-discovery is important so that you can know what is objective and what is not. Asking this someone is also a very big step on the way to self-confidence.
bahadirhancicek 
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